The Prize Winning Banana Blog Returns.

in the spirit of nostalgia here's a little poetry chapbook I put together a loooong time ago. I only made about ten of them so if you have one you are quite privileged. This post is going to be a bit 'old fogey moaning on' possible betraying my boomer origins.  I like to think I am on trend but I suspect I am seriously kidding myself. Here's my latest confusion about a new description of something I thought everybody did and agin that might be revealing my autistic side where I think if I do/think/know something then mostly everyone else must have the same information/motivations.  Logically from observing the way the world is that cannot be true but it's difficult to always keep that in mind. Okay here it is:  Dopamine decorating. Turns out this means decorating your home and furnishing it in a way to give you pleasure when you see it or experience it once it is done. Now that doesn't make sense to me.  Naming it that I mean.  Because do people really decorate ...

Picture is my kitchen on a day when it is tidy.  The beige units are original from when the house was a show home and they have been there since the late nineties.  The gas hob has a couple of chipped places in the enamel but it is all functional so no need to change it yet.  The white unit is a Kallax from IKEA with cupboard doors and drawers installed and an oak worktop from B&Q on top. I haven't been cooking as much as I did. Last year was pretty stressful and cooking became something I couldn't gather the mental resources for.  I still haven't got back to being able to do anything much other than maybe a couple of times a week.  I'm not sure if it is because I am depressed - I know losing interest in hobbies etc is a symptom of depression but I don't have the energy to examine that for now. For now I am letting myself be in free fall and survival mode and doing what I can to fulfil my daily obligations and then trying to be kind to myself by not setting ...

 Over the last year I have had a few 'challenges.' I suppose the scariest was being diagnosed with endometrial cancer in the early part of 2023. I'm still not sure how I felt/feel about that.  I did my best to cope which involved exercising like a demon for 1 - 2 hours and sometimes 3 hours a day and reducing my carb intake so I was in therapeutic ketosis.  That gave me the sensation I was 'fighting' the cancer and over six months I lost a stone in weight. But by the time five months had passed and there was no sign of my operation materialising I had a crisis of confidence so when my husband managed to chivvy them along and my operation happened at the end of that October I was not in a good place mentally at all. I had some complications afterwards which were unpleasant and I think I am still traumatised by a lot of things that happened around that situation.  I am of course supremely grateful to still be here but it is difficult to feel as if I am on solid ground...

  The end of an era and the start of another. No idea if anyone will read this or not.  I used to be a very prolific blogger back in the day and used to have multiple blogs, one for my serious poetry and one for my fun poetry and one for my general musings and one for my foodie adventures.  It got quite complicated and I don't have the energy to do all that any more so this will be a catch all blog and we'll see where it goes. I'm currently saying goodbye to my childhood home.  My 90 something mum has taken up residence in a care home and thankfully she is comfy and happy there and the family home is being sold to cover her care home costs. So the house we moved into in 1967 is now going to have a new life - hopefully with a new family and ideally they will have a similarly long relationship with the house and the circle of life will keep rotating. We are all living through interesting times and I hope to use this blog to share my thoughts and see if anyone still wan...